I want to swim far
But I am a prey chained
In a world of power.
Peel away the darkness in my heart,
Growing with dread and hate
Of its innocence.
I can only look from afar,
Knowing it may be too late
To escape this fate.
I have buckets of tears,
For the lonely.
I have few pennies,
For the empty.
I have a beating heart
For the hateful.
I have blankets
For the broken.
I try and try
To erase the void
But I feel so small,
And so vulnerable.
Can a hopeless have hope?
Can I last until dawn?
For this night is endless
For a life already shattered.
You are the sum of my demons
The light in my shadows
A beautiful distraction,
A dream I never had.
You are the words behind my silence,
My compass in the night
My comfort from weariness,
A star I can never hold.
I should have grabbed the chance
To utter words unspoken,
But my lips were sealed,
And I ran away.
Forgive my awkwardness,
For my heart is made of paper
And I have to bottle it up
So it won’t leak.
People tell me I still look the same,
Years have gone by like the passing wind
I was drifting through life, surviving.
The past came, flashing before my eyes
And all this time, I am living a lie.
Your words were sharp as the knife
Peeling off the layers of myself I have outgrown,
Forcing me to evolve, to grow.
I ‘ve been hiding in the comfort of childhood
And I just knew it was time to let go,
And face another chapter.
God give me the strength to be strong
With hope and peace in a turbulent world.
I am afraid of the shadows
But I want to move forward
To face the darkness in my heart,
To find my light again,this time with you.
Stab me, like there’s no tomorrow
I can handle the pain.
You cut me with your shitty words
But I can always lick my wounds.
You shoot with dagger looks
But I have my bullet-proof.
If life was pain and it was you,
I’ll gladly embrace it.
I was the masochist in your sadist state,
You the Master and I like the Slave.
I chose you when you chose me,
I love you more when you hurt me.
I was a living dead before,
Then you came and awakened my soul.
If we’re gonna meet,
I hope you say hello first
Because it takes a while,
For me to warm up.
Disarm me with a smile
And a soothing voice
That can calm the storms
Inside my overthinking head.
I advice you to be patient
When I suddenly burst-
That sweet innocent girl you like
Might just transform into a monster.
You might have a pretty face,
But I want a man who’s steady,
Who can make love with his actions
And not just with words.
I hope you’re also into books
For I like to read and write,
And we might just get along
Conversing and laughing ’til dawn.
Become my friend
Who speaks the truth,
Love my flaws and in turn
I’ll be yours without reservation.
Until then, I will wait
For that special moment
Even if you’re miles away
And it takes forever and a day.
Life goes on
Like a river
With hope blooming
From a heart yearning.
I saw my own reflection
Saying goodbye to the past,
Embracing another day
That’s definitely not my last.
People tell me I look like you
You, who bore me on a balsamic moon.
You said life was no easy for you
So you try to amend the past with me.
You guided me through and through
But kept haunting secrets only you knew.
You would suddenly hug me at night
That I had to breathe because it was tight.
When I had to leave for my dreams
Your eyes looked so painful and in tears.
You wanted me to stay in the nest
But I was stubborn that I still went away.
I said I wanted to live the world
But you said the world would eat my heart.
Remembering those days still hurt
Whenever you would send me your letters.
And that I realize that you’re right
But it was just too late to turn back time.
Time when I was still in your arms
With the peace I never found with the world.
How can such a simple single word
Mean so much to my whole existence?
I pray time to be merciful to me
So I can finally utter the words ‘forgive me.’