My feelings go numb

Every time I shut myself out

Of miserable thinking.

I need escape

I need release

I need to feel again

That happiness that you gave me

A long time ago.

You gave it to me like a drug

and I got addicted

Until I got shallow

And all the more hollow

Angry yet empty.

Things are not as it used to be

Only no hope for second chances

For you or me

Only sadness in the silence

And myself lost in darkness.



Missin’ the old days

Just heard from you yesterday

Wish we could hang out

Drive ourselves wild and crazy

and share laughter without a care.

Missin’ riding the train

It was a little bit comforting

As I went in yesterday

Remembering our conversations.

Years may have gone by

And even if you’re far now

Or have gone busy with work

I still hope our bond stays.



Pagmulat ng mata,nakita kong wala ka na

Pinagsamahan nati’y naglahong parang bula

Nabubuhay lamang pala ako sa akala

Ako pa ang nagmukhang masama.

Sana nga maibabalik pa ang mga oras

Mga pangako mong ngayon na ay gasgas

Masisisi mo ba kung pusong ito’y wasak

Na makailang beses mong sinaksak?

Mapait, iyan ang lasa mo sa aking dila

Parang parya, ibabad mo pa sa suka

Isinusuka ko ang nakaraang nagdaan

Sana ngayon wala tayong pinagsamahan.



More silence and more hatred

Until more tears are shed

Should have known this would happen

It only made our hearts to be broken.

Looking up at the sky

I’ve always wondered why

Maybe distance would be better

Cause being close makes us weaker.

Trust has always been the issue

You never believed me too

How awful our situation is

These emotions need release.

The kind that makes us suffer

Is the kind that makes us stronger

Maybe I gather up more pain

My efforts were just in vain.

Tonight the moon is full

I didn’t know fate can be so cruel

And those walls of yours and mine

Says we are just fine.



Last night I dreamed of a cruel angel

Who devours his underlings

A giant like no other

Who kills and then disappears.

He walks a straight path

Shines like the star

But beneath those divine wings

Comes the madness within him.

I thought I must be in hell

But there was no fire to see

So I thought what irony

This angel must be.

Just as I was about to leave

“You’re just human”

Were the very last words

He said to me.

I’d soon wake up

Feeling exhausted but free

If the dream was real

Where shall I be?

That faceless cruel angel

Was the symbol of my fear

And so came down a tear

A cry no one could hear.



I get drunk and lost

From the beautiful nightmare

That is you.

Why do thorns appear

Whenever I look at you?

There’s got to be demons

Wanting to escape

Sewing my swollen lips

Bruised and battered

As reality becomes my battlefield-

Fighting for sanity.

Clock is ticking

I’d soon slip away

With the passing age.



Nakita ka nga nakaplastar nga agiddan

(I saw you already in bed)

Idin tu ta imbagam kanyak iti mariknam

(After which you said to me how you felt)

Ket di nak nga nagsasao iti abay mo

(But I said nothing by your side)

Ta dinak met nga amammu.

(Because I know you didn’t know me.)

Dinamag nak naminsan nu apay ababayen ka

(You asked me once why I’m always at your side)

Dinamag nak pay nga naminsan nu apay ayayaten ka

(Then you also asked me why I still love you)

Ket idin kunto a nakita iti dagsen ti rigat mo

(There I saw the heaviness of your suffering)

Makasangit nak pay ket hannak makasao.

(That I felt like crying I couldn’t even speak.)

Ngem ti kinunak addaak la iti abay mo

(But I said I’ll always be by your side)

Duray man no di ka makamammu

(Even if you did not know me)

Duray nalipatan man ti nagan ko

(Even if you don’t remember my name)

Duray man amin ket basol mo.

(Even if everything was your fault.)

Ngem detoy sangit ko

(But these tears I have)

Sapay la kuma ta maaprisyar mo

(I hope you appreciate)

Ta naminsan imbagak iti Diyos ken sasanto

(For once I promised to God and the saints)

Nga din tu agbalbaliw ti ayat ko.

(That my love for you will never change.)



Mga mata’y nakapikit

Ninamnam ang sakit

Habang ikinakabit

ang kutsilyong ginamit.

Kay tamis pa ng iyong ngiti

At wala man lang bakas ng pagsisisi

Habang nakahawak ang iyong kamay

Sa kanya ng walang humpay.

Palihim kang tinatanaw

Kahit ako’y walang ilaw

Mula nang ikay makita

At lubusang nakilala.

Litrato mo’y laging nakakabit

Kita ko lagi ang ganda mo’t bait

Kaibigan pa nga turing mo sa akin

Di man lang nakita ang aking damdamin.

Kaya nang makita kang masaya

Ako’y nagselos nang sobra

Dapat ikaw ay maging akin

Ako lamang dapat susunndin.

Hindi ka sana naging biktima

Ng pagmamahal kong sobra sobra.



There’s a lump in my throat

Every time I close my eyes

Waiting in the silence

With the memories still fresh

Like the passing yesterday.

I wonder why I liked sunsets

I wonder why I liked roses

Forgetting how those tiny thorns

Can inflict pain and sadness.

Maybe I just liked the pain-

Makes me feel alive

Even after some pieces of me got lost

And made me a living dead.

Where were those happy memories

When you needed them?

Happiness is fleeting like a second

Yet pain can stay for a long long time

Until no more tears are left for self-loathing

Because I didn’t walk the straight path

You so carefully built and chose for me

You said I’d regret it but I still left

And made friends with pain.

I’m sorry for getting myself caught

With the disappointment you feel

Every single day that my soul

Lurked in the shadows.

Forgive this crazy fool

For believing a foolish dream

For putting around masks

And ill-fitting costumes

For how can I deserve this life

When I am only able to live

And offer love through pain?



She was a little girl

Happy in her own world

Caught in the middle of things

Unaware of the dangers hidden beneath.

She was walking on a thread

With hope in heart

But only got tears to shed

For the wonderful dream she had.

She grew up feeling distant

Feeling like the outcast

In an already perfect world

Of flattery and pretense.

Maybe she never grew up

Who knows what the girl had become

Because she’s already been broken

Many times for a lifetime to last.

The world has slowly eaten her heart

Reminded her of how cruel life can be

Just a prey in the midst of giants

A toy for their enjoyment.

Maybe she’s just living

Like the shadow of ghosts

But she’s brave enough to know

That paradise is just an ideal world.