My feelings go numb
Every time I shut myself out
Of miserable thinking.
I need escape
I need release
I need to feel again
That happiness that you gave me
A long time ago.
You gave it to me like a drug
and I got addicted
Until I got shallow
And all the more hollow
Angry yet empty.
Things are not as it used to be
Only no hope for second chances
For you or me
Only sadness in the silence
And myself lost in darkness.
Missin’ the old days
Just heard from you yesterday
Wish we could hang out
Drive ourselves wild and crazy
and share laughter without a care.
Missin’ riding the train
It was a little bit comforting
As I went in yesterday
Remembering our conversations.
Years may have gone by
And even if you’re far now
Or have gone busy with work
I still hope our bond stays.
Pagmulat ng mata,nakita kong wala ka na
Pinagsamahan nati’y naglahong parang bula
Nabubuhay lamang pala ako sa akala
Ako pa ang nagmukhang masama.
Sana nga maibabalik pa ang mga oras
Mga pangako mong ngayon na ay gasgas
Masisisi mo ba kung pusong ito’y wasak
Na makailang beses mong sinaksak?
Mapait, iyan ang lasa mo sa aking dila
Parang parya, ibabad mo pa sa suka
Isinusuka ko ang nakaraang nagdaan
Sana ngayon wala tayong pinagsamahan.
More silence and more hatred
Until more tears are shed
Should have known this would happen
It only made our hearts to be broken.
Looking up at the sky
I’ve always wondered why
Maybe distance would be better
Cause being close makes us weaker.
Trust has always been the issue
You never believed me too
How awful our situation is
These emotions need release.
The kind that makes us suffer
Is the kind that makes us stronger
Maybe I gather up more pain
My efforts were just in vain.
Tonight the moon is full
I didn’t know fate can be so cruel
And those walls of yours and mine
Says we are just fine.
Last night I dreamed of a cruel angel
Who devours his underlings
A giant like no other
Who kills and then disappears.
He walks a straight path
Shines like the star
But beneath those divine wings
Comes the madness within him.
I thought I must be in hell
But there was no fire to see
So I thought what irony
This angel must be.
Just as I was about to leave
“You’re just human”
Were the very last words
He said to me.
I’d soon wake up
Feeling exhausted but free
If the dream was real
Where shall I be?
That faceless cruel angel
Was the symbol of my fear
And so came down a tear
A cry no one could hear.
I get drunk and lost
From the beautiful nightmare
That is you.
Why do thorns appear
Whenever I look at you?
There’s got to be demons
Wanting to escape
Sewing my swollen lips
Bruised and battered
As reality becomes my battlefield-
Fighting for sanity.
Clock is ticking
I’d soon slip away
With the passing age.
Nakita ka nga nakaplastar nga agiddan
(I saw you already in bed)
Idin tu ta imbagam kanyak iti mariknam
(After which you said to me how you felt)
Ket di nak nga nagsasao iti abay mo
(But I said nothing by your side)
Ta dinak met nga amammu.
(Because I know you didn’t know me.)
Dinamag nak naminsan nu apay ababayen ka
(You asked me once why I’m always at your side)
Dinamag nak pay nga naminsan nu apay ayayaten ka
(Then you also asked me why I still love you)
Ket idin kunto a nakita iti dagsen ti rigat mo
(There I saw the heaviness of your suffering)
Makasangit nak pay ket hannak makasao.
(That I felt like crying I couldn’t even speak.)
Ngem ti kinunak addaak la iti abay mo
(But I said I’ll always be by your side)
Duray man no di ka makamammu
(Even if you did not know me)
Duray nalipatan man ti nagan ko
(Even if you don’t remember my name)
Duray man amin ket basol mo.
(Even if everything was your fault.)
Ngem detoy sangit ko
(But these tears I have)
Sapay la kuma ta maaprisyar mo
(I hope you appreciate)
Ta naminsan imbagak iti Diyos ken sasanto
(For once I promised to God and the saints)
Nga din tu agbalbaliw ti ayat ko.
(That my love for you will never change.)
Mga mata’y nakapikit
Ninamnam ang sakit
ang kutsilyong ginamit.
Kay tamis pa ng iyong ngiti
At wala man lang bakas ng pagsisisi
Habang nakahawak ang iyong kamay
Sa kanya ng walang humpay.
Palihim kang tinatanaw
Kahit ako’y walang ilaw
Mula nang ikay makita
At lubusang nakilala.
Litrato mo’y laging nakakabit
Kita ko lagi ang ganda mo’t bait
Kaibigan pa nga turing mo sa akin
Di man lang nakita ang aking damdamin.
Kaya nang makita kang masaya
Ako’y nagselos nang sobra
Dapat ikaw ay maging akin
Ako lamang dapat susunndin.
Hindi ka sana naging biktima
Ng pagmamahal kong sobra sobra.
There’s a lump in my throat
Every time I close my eyes
Waiting in the silence
With the memories still fresh
Like the passing yesterday.
I wonder why I liked sunsets
I wonder why I liked roses
Forgetting how those tiny thorns
Can inflict pain and sadness.
Maybe I just liked the pain-
Makes me feel alive
Even after some pieces of me got lost
And made me a living dead.
Where were those happy memories
When you needed them?
Happiness is fleeting like a second
Yet pain can stay for a long long time
Until no more tears are left for self-loathing
Because I didn’t walk the straight path
You so carefully built and chose for me
You said I’d regret it but I still left
And made friends with pain.
I’m sorry for getting myself caught
With the disappointment you feel
Every single day that my soul
Lurked in the shadows.
Forgive this crazy fool
For believing a foolish dream
For putting around masks
And ill-fitting costumes
For how can I deserve this life
When I am only able to live
And offer love through pain?
She was a little girl
Happy in her own world
Caught in the middle of things
Unaware of the dangers hidden beneath.
She was walking on a thread
With hope in heart
But only got tears to shed
For the wonderful dream she had.
She grew up feeling distant
Feeling like the outcast
In an already perfect world
Of flattery and pretense.
Maybe she never grew up
Who knows what the girl had become
Because she’s already been broken
Many times for a lifetime to last.
The world has slowly eaten her heart
Reminded her of how cruel life can be
Just a prey in the midst of giants
A toy for their enjoyment.
Maybe she’s just living
Like the shadow of ghosts
But she’s brave enough to know
That paradise is just an ideal world.